The divorce rate in some parts of
the world such as the United States stands at 50%, in other parts of the world
it’s even higher. Indian society on the other hand is a lot less exposed
to divorce cases when compared to its foreign counterparts. These numbers
though don’t come as a surprise to many who understand what it takes to make a
relationship work.
How we got here
Since the sexual revolution of the
1960s, women have realised that it’s their prerogative to enjoy sex. This
realisation has, on the whole, been good for society for several reasons.
While before the sexual
revolution, countless women suffered silently in marriages that were not
working, following it, women have come to demand satisfaction in the bedroom.
That's why today when married women find they are trapped in a marriage in
which their partner cannot meet their needs, they calmly find a lover outside
marriage. They have every right to do as the defining characteristic of our era
is individual happiness. A woman or man for that matter has every right to seek
happiness except when doing so hampers another person’s pursuit of pleasure.
When millions of people in society find happiness, society becomes a happier
and more tolerant place.
With the pursuit of happiness as
the mantra of our time, a woman has every right to seek sexual fulfilment from
her partner and vice versa. However, while a husband and wife are obligated to
meet each other’s physical needs, it may not always be possible for each to do
so. While on the surface, each partner may be capable of expressing physical
intimacy, when a husband and wife are not sexually compatible, intimacy may not
be enough to make their marriage work. When it comes to having a successful
marriage, sexual compatibility may be the most critical factor. The absence of
sexual compatibility may be the reasons why 46% of Indian’s are in a sexual
relationship outside their marriage as stated by a survey conducted by Gleeden.
Sexually compatible
partners have it easier
Being sexually compatible with a
partner goes a long way in making a marriage successful. When a husband and
wife have matching sex drives, the intimacy between them is strengthened. For a
woman, few things are as bad as being married to a man who has a markedly lower
sex drive than she does. Same holds for a man who has a much higher sex drive
than his wife.
That’s not to say that sexual
compatibility is the only thing that can make a marriage successful. Intimacy
is important, but not enough to make men and women happy and secure in a
relationship.
Why intimacy is not enough
Being intimate with a partner
includes playing with them, cuddling, and kidding. A good old fashioned pillow
fight in bed between a husband and wife serves to foster intimacy. Its goes
without saying that intimacy plays a vital role in bringing a man and women
together. Men and women who share intimate moments become closer to one
another, which eventually could lead to sex. That's good news. However, should
the man and women have different sexual appetites, mere intimacy may not be
enough for them to stay together.
Whether they are merely dating,
engaged, or married, or engaging in some extramarital fun, when a man and women
lack sexual compatibility, their relationship will either not last very long,
or be unfulfilling to one or both partners.
Intimate moments like watching a
movie, cooking together, listening to music, dining, shopping can be precursors
to sex. But when two peoples libidos are very different, these intimate moments
will become fewer and far between until eventually, a couple splits. Increasing
the number of intimate moments a couple spends together does nothing to
increase a partner’s libido.
This presents a challenge because
a couple may have a great time dating, but when it comes to sex, one partner
may not be able to meet the others demand. Outside a bedroom, a couple may be
the couple everyone else wants to be. Still, without sexual compatibility, the
charm a couple’s intimacy exudes won’t be enough to salvage their relationship.
Compatibility is more
important than ever before
The divorce rate is rising
everywhere, even in conservative India, where taboos against divorce until
recently had been extreme. Some might believe that a high divorce rate signals
decay in the moral fabric of society, yet in fact, the opposite is more likely
to be true. When people take the step to divorce, they signal they are
progressive and willing to seek out pleasure without consideration of social
mores. Rather than repressing their feelings and emotions and thereby suffer
needlessly, such individuals are willing to cast aside social dictums to pursue
pleasure. Their actions make society a more stable, tolerant, prosperous and
enlightened place.
In the pursuit of individual
happiness, people are seeking out sexual partners who have matching sexual
drives. A woman or man trapped in a marriage that isn't working can try to
rescue their relationship by attempting to create intimacy with their partner.
But unless the pair shares sexual compatibility, all their attempts to salvage
their relationship by creating intimacy will fail. The understanding that
people need sex is likely one reason why married couples are willing to forgive
partners who stray. In a survey conducted by Gleeden it was found out that
nearly 37% of Indians are unconditionally willing to forgive partners who
cheat.
Indians are global citizens, and
as a result, they are as deeply intertwined with global trends as citizens of
any country. As global citizens, Indians are living for their happiness. Like
their global peers, they are more individualised than ever before and driven by
what Freud referred to as the pleasure principle. Sex that is fulfilling is
central to this pursuit of pleasure. As global citizens, Indians realise that
beyond the thrilling games of courtship and intimacy lie sexual fulfilment
which is fundamental to the success of every relationship. Such satisfaction is
possible only when a man and women are sexually compatible.
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